Probing Questions

The real skill (that I have never mastered) in leading a good group lies in asking good follow-up questions.  The questions that you prepare ahead of time may be lackluster, but if you know how to draw people out a little more, then you can lead a good discussion.

Follow-up questions come when a person has answered, and you come back and say:

“What do you mean by ________?”

“Anyone else have any thoughts on that?”

“Do you mean _______?”

“Why?”

And etc.

Your goal is to make sure that everyone understands the person’s answer and draw out any further insight.

It’s also good to summarize what’s been said.  You might say:

“So, we’ve seen that ______, now let’s look at ______.”

“Since we know that _____, then _____.”

It’s not as easy to do as it sounds, and the only way to really learn it is to do it, but it is the one skill that can separate a mediocre leader from a good leader.

“In this week’s reading, what did you find insightful, troubling, or confusing?”

When people find something they like, they usually like to talk about it.

When people think something is wrong, they usually like to talk about it.

When people don’t understand something, they usually would like help grasping it.

So, this makes a great first question for a group discussion.  In fact, most of the fruitful discussion will come from this one simple question that allows people to express what impacted them.  You may not even need any other questions.

Discussing a book is like bringing in a well-prepared expert to teach the group.  Only the very naive fail to realize how hard it can be to prepare teaching that is engaging, organized, and insightful.  Preparation is long, hard, and often isolating work.  But when you discuss a book, someone else has already done the hard work for you.

This helps with application.  So much time is spent in some groups getting to the main point that application is tacked on as an afterthought at the end.  But when you read a book together, the author does all of the explaining for you so that the group can focus on application.

Preparation is also easy.  “Read ________ for next week.”

So how do you decide which books to read?  That’s easy.  The main rule of thumb is that if books are teachers, then don’t use anyone’s book that you wouldn’t allow to come in and teach.  If they’re not biblically based and doctrinally sound enough to teach your group, then they shouldn’t be read with a group.

There are some other practical things to consider.  First, teaching is usually in the genre of non-fiction.  So, while The Chronicles of Narnia is great, in my opinion, it isn’t as fruitful for an hour-long discussion as you might think.  Other things are important for a group like the book’s reading level, how long it might take to read, how easily it can be broken into sessions, etc.  Common sense and a little empathy will help here.

In short:  “A word [in the form of a good book] fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.”–Proverbs 25:11

A good bit of older literature on small groups has this all wrong.  They say that small group leaders are only supposed to be facilitators and not try to determine the conclusions the group might reach.  That may be fine for some groups but not for groups focused on Christian growth.

In a group focused on Christian growth, lively discussion is not the goal; the goal of every discussion should be to seek to bring out and apply God’s word faithfully.  Everyone in the group should have that as their goal, but it is the leader’s particular responsibility to guide the conversation toward the truth.  That may mean you have some meetings that are a little bit awkward because you have to cut off someone’s false conclusions or their off-topic rambling.  But that’s what leaders are supposed to do:  guide the group toward the truth of God’s word.

Sometimes it’s not necessary to make the guidelines for your group explicit.  You don’t need to convince anyone in the group that groups can be helpful, and you don’t need to teach anyone how groups work best.  You just get everyone together, eat, get to know one another, and pass out books.  That’s a good way to start any group.

But in most cases, it’s good to give some instructions on how to get the most out of a group.  In the groups that I lead, I usually explain these three keys, which I learned from a Matthias Media article (and I’m not ashamed to alliterate):

Preparation.  To get the most out of your group, you must prepare.  Read the material, answer the questions, and prepare to say SOMEthing.  You may also want to prepare some food.

Presence. This is an always overlooked point and the most important.  To get the most out of your group, you have to show up, and not only occasionally, but consistently.  If you don’t, you’ll miss out on the continuity of the study and the friendships.

Participation. This begins in preparation, but you have to put your thoughts into words in order to help others.  Everyone should seek to build up everyone else through some insight, experience, encouragement, challenge, or clarification.

The questions I would have for anyone who doesn’t find a group beneficial always run along the lines of these three points:  Did you go to every meeting?  Did you prepare?  Did you say anything?  Did you bring any food?  If the answer is no, then that gives me a really good idea of why they didn’t enjoy their group.